My boy started school today

I stayed home just so I can take him, pick him up then take him to lunch. It was well worth it. Today was a milestone for him. On the way to school I kept reminding him how I used to kiss him goodbye at the gate when he was in preschool. He wasn't allowed to cross over the yellow line. We put our lips through the gate and said goodbye for the day. It's so bittersweet. I tend to say that a lot lately. I guess I feel my age. I have to find new ways to reinvent myself...like Madonna. Maybe I'll make a sex book.

Taylor Swift Pranks Keith Urban in Kansas City, MO

This cracked me up. You can tell it's TS playing her guitar as she usually does, and that's what makes it so funny...and fem. :) Cute.

Critters

So cute...kinda. My daughter's friend had 5 of these guys at her house last night.

milestones

Got to work late today. I had to go to school and register the boy. It was nice to sleep in a little. I made sure I left at my usual time too. I was feeling a bit nostalgic today when I thought back to the days of when he was a little boy. They were such sweet days, ones that seemed to last forever at the time. I remember leaving him at Preschool, it was so hard to do. I would kiss him goodbye and right before I got into my car I made sure I gave him one last kiss. I would go up to the chain link fence, he would run up enthusiastically to it, making sure he didn't cross the line and he would put his little lips through the chain link fence and so would I, then peck me and runaway to have a grand ol' time. He had to get the basketball or ride one of the bikes merrily around the yard. All the boys smiling and laughing as they would be crashing into one another. I have to admit it was kind of cute. I would stand there watching him play with the other little boys, admiring how nicely he got along with them. It would send me off to work with a smile. I was a proud mama. I frequently reminded him of these days throughout the years, so of course he remembers it all. Now he is older and he's changed. I have to pull teeth just to get a hug. Honey, can we snuggle like we used to when you were little? Of course we can't. Those days are over. Now I can only be blessed with Grandchildren someday. I hope I'm not robbed of all these precious memories as my old age arrives. If I'm cheated like that I hope I don't know it. The sad thing about old age is you can't avoid it no matter what you do...or don't.

Finally

Got my new Blackberry sent to me. Yay. I'm downloading applications as I type. I ran my ass across town during rush hour traffic (do we even have a rush hour here or is that just on the East Coast?) because my son refused to get up for FedEx. Well, those lazy, crazy days of summer are going to end on August 31st. Yes, that is their firs today of school this year. Early. A slave to the alarm clock once again.

Ubertwitter is done downloading. I now need my CNN.

Work has been crazy lately. Our manager has been out all week. The past three weeks he's been in and out. My supervisor is having a rough time coping with everything. I'd offer my assistance but I'm going to harden my feelings toward him and the whole situation. I need to work. I have no idea what's going on with my boss, but I know it's something serious with his 15 year old. I have a feeling it's something along the lines of Leukemia or some other type of cancer. I can see in my manager's face the hardship he's going through and it breaks my heart. No parent should have to go through something like this. I have no idea how they're working this out. I assume he's on some type of FMLA plan right now. I pray everything turns out for the best. I have a feeling it will. Prayers.

Ubertwitter and CNN - done. Next up - AIM.

I really do have to go to bed. I'm not dragging as much as I was yesterday. I should get used to these new hours in about a year.

Talked to J briefly. Of course he wants it when he wants it. He doesn't understand that I have a life too. He doesn't care what I have to do. That's not important. Spoiled rotten and so used to getting his way. It must be hard living in this world.

Nite

new work schedule

I started this new schedule today and already its kicking my ass. I think I'm getting old and my body isn't as versatile as it used to be. Anyways, this schedule is one that if you work 9 hours per day Mon-Thur you will earn a day off every other Friday. I honestly don't know if it's worth it. At least not yet. It's an hour less time I'll get to spend with my son after school. I really need to be here for him at this age. I'm conflicted. I had to try it and see if it would work. I don't like getting off work an hour later each day. The reason I have been going in very early was so I could get off early. Now what is the freaking point? So I came home and fell asleep until 8:00. Weee.

A Man Watches His Life Pass Before Him

Last Day Dream [HD] from Chris Milk on Vimeo.

Imagine what it could possibly be like in those last final moments of your life. What would go through your mind?

Tell me this isn't good

and John Mayer sucks. And I'll tell you you're crazy.




A jam session with Clapton.

One of My Favorite Stories

The Little Match Girl

by Hans Christian Andersen

Most terribly cold it was; it snowed, and was nearly quite dark, and evening-- the last evening of the year. In this cold and darkness there went along the street a poor little girl, bareheaded, and with naked feet. When she left home she had slippers on, it is true; but what was the good of that? They were very large slippers, which her mother had hitherto worn; so large were they; and the poor little thing lost them as she scuffled away across the street, because of two carriages that rolled by dreadfully fast.

One slipper was nowhere to be found; the other had been laid hold of by an urchin, and off he ran with it; he thought it would do capitally for a cradle when he some day or other should have children himself. So the little maiden walked on with her tiny naked feet, that were quite red and blue from cold. She carried a quantity of matches in an old apron, and she held a bundle of them in her hand. Nobody had bought anything of her the whole livelong day; no one had given her a single farthing.

She crept along trembling with cold and hunger--a very picture of sorrow, the poor little thing!

The flakes of snow covered her long fair hair, which fell in beautiful curls around her neck; but of that, of course, she never once now thought. From all the windows the candles were gleaming, and it smelt so deliciously of roast goose, for you know it was New Year's Eve; yes, of that she thought.

In a corner formed by two houses, of which one advanced more than the other, she seated herself down and cowered together. Her little feet she had drawn close up to her, but she grew colder and colder, and to go home she did not venture, for she had not sold any matches and could not bring a farthing of money: from her father she would certainly get blows, and at home it was cold too, for above her she had only the roof, through which the wind whistled, even though the largest cracks were stopped up with straw and rags.

Her little hands were almost numbed with cold. Oh! a match might afford her a world of comfort, if she only dared take a single one out of the bundle, draw it against the wall, and warm her fingers by it. She drew one out. "Rischt!" how it blazed, how it burnt! It was a warm, bright flame, like a candle, as she held her hands over it: it was a wonderful light. It seemed really to the little maiden as though she were sitting before a large iron stove, with burnished brass feet and a brass ornament at top. The fire burned with such blessed influence; it warmed so delightfully. The little girl had already stretched out her feet to warm them too; but--the small flame went out, the stove vanished: she had only the remains of the burnt-out match in her hand.

She rubbed another against the wall: it burned brightly, and where the light fell on the wall, there the wall became transparent like a veil, so that she could see into the room. On the table was spread a snow-white tablecloth; upon it was a splendid porcelain service, and the roast goose was steaming famously with its stuffing of apple and dried plums. And what was still more capital to behold was, the goose hopped down from the dish, reeled about on the floor with knife and fork in its breast, till it came up to the poor little girl; when--the match went out and nothing but the thick, cold, damp wall was left behind. She lighted another match. Now there she was sitting under the most magnificent Christmas tree: it was still larger, and more decorated than the one which she had seen through the glass door in the rich merchant's house.

Thousands of lights were burning on the green branches, and gaily-colored pictures, such as she had seen in the shop-windows, looked down upon her. The little maiden stretched out her hands towards them when--the match went out. The lights of the Christmas tree rose higher and higher, she saw them now as stars in heaven; one fell down and formed a long trail of fire.

"Someone is just dead!" said the little girl; for her old grandmother, the only person who had loved her, and who was now no more, had told her, that when a star falls, a soul ascends to God.

She drew another match against the wall: it was again light, and in the lustre there stood the old grandmother, so bright and radiant, so mild, and with such an expression of love.

"Grandmother!" cried the little one. "Oh, take me with you! You go away when the match burns out; you vanish like the warm stove, like the delicious roast goose, and like the magnificent Christmas tree!" And she rubbed the whole bundle of matches quickly against the wall, for she wanted to be quite sure of keeping her grandmother near her. And the matches gave such a brilliant light that it was brighter than at noon-day: never formerly had the grandmother been so beautiful and so tall. She took the little maiden, on her arm, and both flew in brightness and in joy so high, so very high, and then above was neither cold, nor hunger, nor anxiety--they were with God.

But in the corner, at the cold hour of dawn, sat the poor girl, with rosy cheeks and with a smiling mouth, leaning against the wall--frozen to death on the last evening of the old year. Stiff and stark sat the child there with her matches, of which one bundle had been burnt. "She wanted to warm herself," people said. No one had the slightest suspicion of what beautiful things she had seen; no one even dreamed of the splendor in which, with her grandmother she had entered on the joys of a new year.

To Be A Child Again

There are so many good things about a summer's day.

• Freshly washed clothes on a clothesline.
• Naps.
  
• Having an unofficial bubble-blowing contest with the unseen kid in the balcony above, who so obviously copied you and sadly thinks he can out bubble you.
• Last day of school.
• Making mud pies.
• Picking flowers..."he loves me, he loves me not"...
  
• Laying on the grass and watching the clouds go by.
• Waiting around for something or nothing.
• The smell of freshly cut grass (before your allergies kick in).
• Popsicles, ice cream, hot dogs...
• Running through sprinklers until you're exhausted.
• Water balloon fights (especially when you get that bastard).
• Unplanned picnics and a good book to read.
• Cherry blossoms. Lots of 'em.
• Trying to skip stones even though you never could (and still can't).
• Spraying the garden hose on an unsuspecting friend.
• Dipping your toes in the ocean.
• Staring at the stars with a good friend, and a cookie.
• Scratching mosquito bites.
• Feeling like the day is endless.
• Having a bit of hope.

Random pic

A tunnel in the Grand Central subway station. Isn't it scary looking? I can't believe I used to walk in these things as a kid.

"A photograph is a secret about a secret. The more it tells you, the less you know."

Came in the mail today

okay, Madonna bitch, let's see what this is all about.

i hate these things. why do i do them?

1. What time did you get up this morning? 5ish. I'm like an old person.

2. How do you like your steak? medium rare.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? The Hangover

4. What is your favorite TV show? True Blood for now. No time to watch a bunch of TV. Only time to answer questions like this.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? East Coast baby! Or any New England state. (Connecticut, Vermont, Boston, Rhode Island). West Coast it would be Washington.

6. What did you have for breakfast? Nothing yet.

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Mexican, Italian. I'm a pasta lover. Bad, I know.

8. What foods do you dislike? I gag on Brussel Sprouts.

9. Favorite Place to Eat Sushi? Hapi Sushi in Laguna Beach

10. Favorite dressing? Whatever fits!

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? Toyota

12. What are your favorite clothes? right now, dresses and sandals. I like jeans and big soft sweaters in the winter. Just casual, comfortable.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? Italy or Paris or Greece. The French Alps.

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? Definitely a 1/2 full kinda girl. But usually my cup runneth over.

15. Where would you want to retire? On a ranch in Wyoming. :D Somewhere in the middle of nowhere.

16. Favorite time of day? None

17. Where were you born? In a hospital. Brooklyn, NY.

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? Football

19. Who do you think will not tag you back? Nobody. I'm not tagging anyone.

20. Person you expect to tag you back first? See answer above.

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? Again, see answer to #19.

22. Bird watcher? I have one of my own. I have had birds since I was 11. And yes, when I'm in a good area I will check them out. Yesterday my friend told me he saw a Mississippi Kite so I read up on him.

23. Are you a morning person or a night person? I'm a whatever person. Go with the flow after 8 hours of sleep.

24. Do you have any pets? Yes

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? YES! I am going to have my regular bowel movement very soon.

26. What did you want to be when you were little? A nurse

27. What is your best childhood memory? Pennsylvania vacation w/family. Or when I fell into the corner of a table and chipped my tooth. Got stitches in my lip and a whole bunch of fucking toys! I had such a grand time I wanted to hurt myself again.

28. Are you a cat or dog person? Doggy

29. Are you married? Yes. Ugh.

30. Always wear your seat belt? Yes.

31. Been in a car accident? Yes, minor. Thank God.

32. Any pet peeves? When people at work take my fucking food out of the microwave and set it down somewhere uncovered. Open and exposed to people possibly sneezing on it..pisses me off. Oh, and make sure you put it close to the trash can too!

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? Right now I'm going through a Canadian Bacon thing.

34. Favorite Flower? Tulips for their beauty, and Sunflowers because they're bright and cheery and lift the spirits. The meaning of sunflowers stems from its namesake, the sun itself. The sunflower’s petals have been likened to bright yellow rays of sunshine, which evoke feelings of warmth and happiness. In addition, the sunflower is often associated with adoration and longevity.

35. Favorite ice cream? Chocolate anything.

36. Favorite fast food restaurant? I really don't have one. They all rate the same.

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? 0. Hello! I've been driving since I was 12.

38. From whom did you get your last email? Chuck

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Borders, Barnes & Noble, Amazon for Kindle. Shia, I can max it out anywhere.

40. Do anything spontaneous lately? Yes, I road the stallion on a whim...last night.

41. Like your job? For the most part, yes. It's the bureaucracy I'm not fond of.

42. Broccoli? A LOT. And doused in lemon!

43. What was your favorite vacation? In the mountains

44. Last person you went out to dinner with? Hubby and kids.

45. What are you listening to right now? Snoring.

46. What is your favorite color? Red

47. How many tattoos do you have? None.

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz? There's that tagging thing again. No one.

49. What time did you finish this quiz? It's 8/8/09, 6:15 a.

50. Coffee Drinker? Yes, decaf.

Saturday afternoon and all is well.

I haven't blogged in a while. I don't have much to say that's probably why.

Let's see I broke my Blackberry, well, it wasn't my fault that the thing decided to just up and die. It stopped responding, something is wrong with the keyboard. I have a new one on its way. I was very tempted to get an iPhone but I think I'm going to wait for my real upgrade discount. If they were to give me an early upgrade it would be an extra $75. Thanks for nothing. I think they're making enough on these iPhones that they could have given a long time customer a much better deal. AT&T will not go out of business if they do that for me. Lately they've been a little tight with their services. Whatever.

My boss has been in & out of the office for the past two weeks. He doesn't look good, has bags under his eyes and the other day he came in with his wife to meet with the VP. I'm sure they're understanding about his crisis since he has been with the company for 15 years. Everyone seems to be handling things for him good enough while he works from home. I think it has something to do with his 15 year old daughter. Someone told me they heard him say something like "she was just diagnosed." I think that's very scary and I've been doing a lot of praying for him and his family. I hope it all turns out okay. Something like this can happen to each and every one of us, nobody is immune. When something serious happens to your child your entire world falls apart. You have nothing left. I know with even the slightest injury or fever I'm feeling bad. I could not imagine something more serious. I'm tossing out prayers right now into the universe.

Now to complain about my neighbors. Between the two of them on each side of me there are 15 people living with them. The kids are up all hours of the night, running around half naked, screaming and chasing after their dog who shits everywhere. They are filthy little kids who always have snot crust around their noses, with dirty, black feet. Haven't they heard of MRSA? I think it's disgusting. It's really not the fault of the children that they have such incompetent parents and family around them. This is precisely why I can't stand Mexicans who come straight over from the Mexico illegally. All their dealings with us have been dishonest as they try to put one over on everyone to get ahead. Pisses me off. Get a life and conform, will ya? We're not going to accept you if you act like that and can't speak English, and that's too fucking bad. This isn't Tijuana.

A plane and a helicopter collided into The Hudson River today.

Eating so healthy

Papaya - fruit source
Cheese - dairy source
Choc Chip Granola - main breakfast entree from Nutrisystem.

Book List

1. The Education of Little Tree, by Forrest Carter
2. This House of Sky, by Ivan Doig
3. The Color of Water, by James McBride
4. The Notebook, by Nicholas Sparks
5. Mutant Message/Down Under, by Marlo Morgan
6. The Road From Coorain, by Jill Ker Conway
7. Refuge, by Terry Tempest Williams
8. Wait Till Next Year, by Doris Kearns Goodwin
9. A Place of Her Own, by Dori Sanders
10. Angela's Ashes, by James McCourt
11. Katherine Graham, A Personal History
12. Greatest Generation, by Tom Brokow
13. Under a Wing, by Reeve Lindbergh
14. No Ordinary Time (1st half of the book), by Doris Kearns Goodwin
15. No Ordinary Time (2nd half of the book), by Doris Kearns Goodwin
16. Abigail Adams, by Natalie S. Bober
17. Having Our Say & On My Own at 107, by Delany Sisters
18. Jewel, by Brett Lott
19. Tuesdays With Morrie, by Mitch Albom
20. Four Letters of Love, by Niall Williams
21. Dancing at the Rascal Fair, by Ivan Doig
22. Life and Death in Shanghai, by Nien Cheng
23. Tis, by Frank McCourt
24. The Professor and the Madman, by Simon Winchester
25. Bound Feet and Western Dress, by Pang-Mei Chang
26. Daughter of Fortune, by Isabel Allende
27. Growing Up, by Russell Baker
28. Where Rivers Change Direction, (A Collection of Essays)
29. Chocolat, by Joanne Harris
30. Jefferson: Man on the Mountain, by Natalie S. Bober
31. West With the Night, by Beryl Markham
32. Letters From Yellowstone, by Diane Smith
33. 84, Charing Cross Road, by Helene Hanff
34. Shipwreck at the Bottom of the World, by Jennifer Armstrong
35. Helen Sekaquaptewa: Me and Mine, as told to Louise Udall
36. Mankiller: A Chief and Her People, by Wilma Mankiller & Michael Wallis
37. Girl With a Pearl Earring, by Tracey Chevalier
38. Wish You Well, by David Baldacci
39. The Professor's House, by Willa Cather
40. Death Comes For the Archbishop, by Willa Cather
41. Barbara Jordon: American Hero, by Mary Beth Rogers
42. Washington, by Meg Greenfield
43. A Kitchen God's Wife, by Amy Tan
44. A Walk in the Woods, by Bill Bryson
45. Hanna's Daughters, by Marianne Fredriksson
46. October Sky, by Homer H. Hickam
47. Simon's Family, by Marianne Fredriksson
48. Bend in the Road, by Nicholas Sparks
49. Seldom Disappointed, by Tony Hillerman
50. Galileo's Daughter, by Dava Sobel
51. Yellow Raft on Blue Water, by Michael Dorris
52. The Optimist's Daughter, by Eudora Welty
53. First Mothers, by Bonnie Angelo
54. Prodigal Summer, by Barbara Kingsolver
55. Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down, by Anne Fadiman
56. Skipping Christmas, by John Grisham
57. Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress, by Dai Sijie
58. Inside Islam: The Faith, The Conflicts, introduction by Akbar S. Ahmed
59. A Girl Named Zippy, by Haven Kimmel
60. Thousand Pieces of Gold, by Ruthanne Lum McCunn
61. Peace Like a River, by Leif Enger
62. Seabiscuit, by Laura Hillenbrand
63. The Secret Life of Bees, by Sue Monk Kidd
64. The #1 Ladies Detective Agency, by Alexander McCall Smith
65. To America: Personal Reflections, by Stephen E. Ambrose
66. Miss Julia Speaks Her Mind, by Ann B. Ross
67. Blessings, by Anna Quindlen
68. Leap of Faith, by Queen Noor
69. Breaking Clean, by Judy Blunt
70. Mount Vernon Love Story, by Mary Higgins Clark
71. Reading Lolita in Tehran, by Azar Nafisi
72. Reason For Hope, by Jane Goodall
73. Plainsong, by Kent Haruf
74. The Da Vinci Code, by Dan Brown
75. Kitchen Privileges, by Mary Higgins Clark
76. The Lady and the Unicorn, by Tracy Chevalier
77. Thanks For the Memories, Mr. President, by Helen Thomas
78. Michelangelo and The Pope's Ceiling, by Ross King
79. The Guardian, by Nicholas Sparks
80. The Blood Runs Like a River Through My Dreams, by Nasdiff
81. Founding Mothers, by Cokie Roberts
82. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, by Mark Haddon
83. An Unfinished Life, by Mark Spragg
84. Miss Julia Meets Her Match, by Ann B. Ross
85. The Sinister Pig, by Tony Hillerman
86. When The Emperor Was Divine, by Julia Otsuka
87. Chinese Cinderella, by Adeline Yen Mah
88. The Kite Runner, by Khalad Hasseini
89. A Northern Light, by Jennifer Donnelly
90. True Believer, by Nicholas Sparks
91. Abigail Adams, by Natalie Bober
92. Lucky Child, by Loung Ung
93. All That Matters, by Jan Goldstein
94. A Lesson Before Dying, by Ernest Gaines
95. Our Endangered Values, by Jimmy Carter
96. My Antonia, by Willa Cather
97. March, by Geraldine Brooks
98. The Voice That Challenged a Nation: Marian Anderson and the Struggle For Equal Rights, by Russell Freedman
99. The Mermaid's Chair, by Sue Monk Kidd
100. The Story of My Life, by Farah Ahmadi
101. Redbird Christmas, by Fannie Flagg
102. Delights and Shadows, by Ted Kooser
103. Snow Flower and The Secret Fan, by Lisa See
104. After This, by Alice McDermott
105. Dear John, by Nicholas Sparks
106. The Glass Castle, by Jeanette Walls
107. Warriors Don't Cry, by Melba Beals
108. Palestine: Peace Not Aparteid, by Jimmy Carter
109. The Good Husband of Zebra Drive, by Alexander McCall Smith
110. The Space Between Us, by Thrity Umrigar
111. The Family Tree, by Barbara Delinsky
112. The Infidel, by Ayaan Hiirisi Ali
113. The Namesake, by Jhumpa Lahiri
114. Jane Austen (Share a book or movie)
115. A Thousand Splendid Suns, by Khaled Hosseini
116. To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee
117. The Worst Hard Times, by Timothy Egan
118. Born Standing Up, by Steve Martin
119. A Thousand White Women, by Jim Fergus
120. Double Cross, by James Patterson
121. The Book Thief, by Markus Zusak
122. The Innocent Man, by John Grisham
123. Chocolat, by Joanne Harris
124. Three Cups of Tea, by Greg Mortensen
125. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, by Betty Smith
126. Unaccustomed Earth, by Jhumpa Lahiri

Faux Sick

I decided to stay home today because i didn't feel that great over the weekend and thought I should sleep in today. Everyone needs to sleep in, don't they? It seems the flu feeling has left me now. I wonder if it was the swine flu. Never know.

Instead here I am...home and arguing with T about something stupid that he did. I go round and round and can never seem to conclude the argument with him. He always fails to see he did anything wrong or that he hurt me. Impossible to be close to a person like this. He just doesn't get it. He is such a perfect person.

Last night I spent my time talking to J. It wasn't the greatest conversation either. I had a lot of cards to put on the table with him as well. It sure is hard being married and having these two single guys on the side. LOL. These men are already old and set in their ways. They'll never change. I should set up an auto reply for my email that says that so every time they email that's what will be returned...."you're an old man and set in your ways and you will never change, so leave me the hell alone."

I caved and joined Facebook yesterday. I have no idea why I did because it's rather boring and I don't have that many close friends. I know, sad. I am such a hermit and mostly socialize with only my family. The way I like it. Most of the people I talk to are through work. I have absolutely no desire to get in touch with anyone from my ELEMENTARY SCHOOL! That is so ridiculous. And the few I would like to talk to can't be found.

We will see how that goes.

Saturday: Day after a great show...and a little 'bout Michael Jackson

Went to see Pete Yorn at The House of Blues yesterday. It was a great show and he is just awesome live. I came out of there pretty sweaty and dehydrated. I'm not used to standing room only type venues. I'm old so my body isn't used to this stuff. :D Now I'm drinking Gatorade and coffee (decaff).

I'm still eating well, exercising and losing weight. I don't want to think of how much further I have to go. Just have to keep at it. One day I'm going to be there. I have an image of myself and how I want to look, feel, etc. and I just know I'm going to reach that goal. I have to say losing weight feels great. You can really tell the difference when it comes to sex. You're capable of these wonderful Kama Sutra positions that you could never get into before. Sexual Calisthenics. LOL! I guess I will stop there. Save it for the porn blog. J/K.

Michael Jackson's memorial service was Tuesday. I cried when his daughter, Paris spoke and told everyone how much she loved her Daddy. The boys seemed a little out of it. The eldest was chomping on his gum the entire time, but guess he can do whatever he wants since he's in mourning. I have feeling it's all going to hit him later. Hopefully those kids won't be messed up. I have to say, doesn't seem as if they're lives are the greatest.











I think MJ's family is strange for not putting him to rest. They still don't know what they're going to do with his body. I say, let him freaking rest already. You chipped away bit by bit at his soul when he was alive, now let him go. They see $$$ signs and it's sickening. The sad thing is how the public will eat it up.

Debbie Rowe is mad

Poor Debbie Rowe? WTF??!! Excuse me, but Debbie Rowe made her bed. She's lying in it now.



okay, i can understand you're angry. Angry at the media, I mean they probably killed Michael Jackson, right? Why of course they did. And the people close to Michael Jackson really steppped in to try and help him. Just like you did, i'm sure. $

But let's put MJ aside for a minute and ask ourselves, what is really going on here? Debbie Rowe's anger is much deeper than we know. Debbie, you're not that sane apparently. You have kids and give them up for money. What kind of a mother are you, bitch? You suck as a mother and you know it! That's why you're angry. I hope you never get to see those kids for as long as you live. You only want them because they're money making machines, you dumb, no-class, white trash bitch. I know you're gonna give those kids up to the Jackson family cause you don't really give a shit.

There, I said it and it felt good.

Note to Debbie Rowe: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/tact
and get some therapy too while you're at it.

Michael Jackson: Are we glorifying a pedophile?

Congressman Pete King trashing Michael Jackson. Yet I do think he has a point.

Funny

"Some people are like Slinkies; not really good for anything, except to bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs."

Waiting for coffee and thinking

We had Italian food and a few glasses of wine. Just watched the fireworks show and we're all now getting tickets for a late showing of The Hangover.

I'm waiting for my decaf coffee here at Kelly's Coffee and thinking about the man who is far away in the Midwest somewhere. It's so hard not to because of the 27 year history I have with him. I'm really Jonessing for him tonight and I find myself extremely jealous all of a sudden. I think of him experiencing the same with another woman, it drives me nuts, and part of me thinks it's impossible for either of us to feel that good with anyone else. I feel as if he's mine and can't be anyone else's. We are both so hard headed and stubbon, with him set in his ways, so nothing will ever come of it. I will probably desire him until the day I die. For now, tonight, I'll just fall asleep thinking of him. Dreaming. To me he's the sexiest man alive. Must be the 70s & 80s songs I've been listening to tonight that are making me feel all meloncholy. It's sad.

Well, happy 4th of July, and Happy b-day to my daughter..may all your hopes and dreams come true. Love, Mom xoxo

Happy 4th again

I just woke up and with a slight headache. Nothing that a half of ibu can't cure. I drank a Raspberry Smirnoff at about 12:30 a.m. My daughter turned 21 so her and her dad went to the store at midnight so she could do the grown up thing and buy some alcohol. I think the thrill of that is already gone. So we started the party early and will continue through today. I should probably take a nap soon. LOL! We really have no idea what we're going to do, probably just wing it. All she has asked for so far is the best Disneyland pass available and dinner at Olive Garden. I think that's pretty reasonable. We may drive down to Temecula or Palm Springs so we can hit a Casino. For my 21st I was up in Big Bear with 2 guys who got me drunk off my ass. That's J, the one I've been mentioning here (who btw I'm not taking to for the past two weeks).

I have been on Nutrisystems now for 4 weeks and people are starting to notice the weight loss. I have to admit, with all the fruits and veggies I've been eating I feel pretty damn good. I have a lot of energy, feel like I can move faster. I can't wait to reach my goal.

The MJ Memorial is going to be held in Los Angeles at The Staples Center and The Nokia theatre for viewing on a large screen only. There are about 17,000 tickets to be given away for free through a lottery system. It's going to be a mess in LA regardless of the preparations they think they're taking. It's estimated 750,000 people will try to go down there anyway. I think I'll watch it in the comfort of my own home.

I never bought a MJ album but I do have to say it's still a shock. He overdosed on Diprivan, a powerful sedative used in hospitals for surgery. There is a tiny fine line between being unconscious and causing death with this drug. Now i'm hearing on the news that the man who owns the club where Jackson first performed will probably be selling bricks from the building. Jeez! People will buy 'em too I'm sure.

I am going to start the day. I hope everyone has a great 4th.

Happy Birthday to my daughter and Happy 4th of July

My daughter is having a big birthday today. All my love and all the best for a happy, healthy year. God bless.

Happy Birthday, America!

the end of a sad week

I'm sure there are a lot of blogs about the celebs who have died in the past week. Ed McMahon kicked it off, then Farrah, then Michael, today Billy Mays, and now Gale Storm. The TV has constantly been memorializing them with tributes. Even the President got involved by sending a letter to the Jackson family. Yes, it's all very sad. Death is sad, but such is life.

These deaths from....cancer and heart issues. What can we learn? I have a feeling we'll learn the most from MJ's death. I think he was anorexic, took too much of some kind of drug that had a paralyzing affect on his central nervous system. I also wonder if he had a preexisting heart condition because he had a Cardiologist always at his side.To me this means there was an underlying heart issues. This is a death that could have been prevented - if he wanted it to be.

The only death I have experienced when it came to someone I loved was of the sudden death kind. It's a total shock. I've had close friends who experienced long, drawn out deaths from terminal illnesses and I can't say one is easier than the other. You get to say goodbye with one but not with the other. Maybe we should learn to say goodbye before we have to. We live our lives- working our asses off, trying to make ends meet, taking care of our families, raising our children just so they can grow up and leave us, and by the time we have a chance to stop and take a breath our bodies are already beat up. There has to be more to life than just this. I guess this is what life's about, hard with a little bit of precious moments in between. Have to grab those moments and hold onto them as long as we can...then they just turn into memories. But that's good too.

good quote

"Men are like a deck of cards. You'll find the occasional king, but most are jacks." - Laura Swenson

Fallen Princess

Photographer Dina Goldstein decided to re-think their outcomes. "I began to imagine Disney's perfect princesses juxtaposed with real issues that were affecting women around me," she says, "such as illness, addiction and self-image issues." Genius and heartbreaking.

RIP Farrah

Farrah Fawcett dies at 62.

A rare cancer claims the 1970s pinup beauty. First known for her looks and hairstyle, she captivated critics with 'The Burning Bed' and other serious roles. Later, she chronicled her illness.

By Valerie J. Nelson

9:11 PM PDT, June 25, 2009

Farrah Fawcett, who soared to fame as a national sex symbol in the late 1970s on television's campy "Charlie's Angels" and in a swimsuit poster that showcased her feathery mane and made her a generation's favorite pinup, died Thursday. She was 62.

Fawcett, whose celebrity overshadowed her ability as a serious actress, was diagnosed with a rare cancer in 2006. She died at St. John's Health Center in Santa Monica, said Paul Bloch, her publicist.

Three months after she was declared cancer-free in 2007, doctors at UCLA Medical Center told her the cancer had returned and spread to her liver, and she repeatedly sought experimental treatment in Germany.

Actor Ryan O'Neal, her longtime companion, called her cancer fight "long and brave" and said her family and friends took comfort in "the knowledge that her life brought joy to so many people around the world."

Kate Jackson called her "Charlie's Angels" costar "an inspiration" who "showed immense courage and grace throughout her illness."

"When I think of Farrah, I will remember her kindness, her cutting dry wit and, of course, her beautiful smile," Jackson said in a statement.

Another "Charlie's Angels" costar, Jaclyn Smith, said in a statement, "Farrah had courage, she had strength, and she had faith. And now she has peace as she rests with the real angels."

As an actress, Fawcett was initially dismissed for her role as Jill Munroe in "Charlie's Angels," one of the "jiggle" series on ABC-TV in the late 1970s.

But she transformed her career and some popular perceptions in 1984 with "The Burning Bed," a television movie about a battered wife that brought her the first of three Emmy nominations. She further established herself as an actress in the play and later feature film “Extremities,” about a rape victim who takes revenge on her attacker.

Robert Greenwald, who directed "The Burning Bed," told The Times on Thursday, "She was incredibly gutsy, courageous and a risk-taker. She had this wonderful beauty, this very successful career and, unlike many people, she used it to open doors and take big chances."

Yet for many, the poster of her wearing a wet, one-piece swimsuit and a blinding smile endured.

"If you were to list 10 images that are evocative of American pop culture, Farrah Fawcett would be one of them," Robert Thompson, a professor of television and popular culture at Syracuse University, told The Times. "That poster became one of the defining images of the 1970s."

Fawcett was part of a new generation of celebrities whose fame was fueled by heightened coverage of their ongoing personal dramas, Thompson said.

She had many: a failed marriage to actor Lee Majors; a stormy, long-term relationship with O'Neal; a son who fought drug addiction; a writer-director boyfriend, James Orr, who was convicted of assaulting her; a Playboy video that featured her using her naked body as a paintbrush; and a spacey 1997 appearance on David Letterman's late-night TV show that caused critics to question her mental state.

For her part, Fawcett once said all she had to do to get on the cover of People was to "have a new boyfriend or even a new dog," Texas Monthly reported in 1997.

At first, her mane nearly eclipsed her fame.

"Charlie's Angels" showcased the long, feathered tresses that framed her face, launching a national fad of copycat haircuts. Many Fawcettphiles believed the hair had as much to do with the poster's sales as anything, The Times reported in 1977.

Within six months, the poster sold five million copies, outstripping the records of such previous sex symbols as Betty Grable and Marilyn Monroe. It wound up selling a reported 12 million copies.

"You were a real man if you had her poster. She was our pinup girl," Mike O'Meara, a radio show host who was in high school when it came out, told the Baltimore Sun in 2006.

Fawcett quit the series that brought her initial fame in 1977 after a single season, saying producers were preventing her from growing as an actress. With Jackson and Smith, Fawcett had played a private investigator whose main talent seemed to be the ability to wield a gun while going braless and shouting, "Freeze, turkey!"

"Charlie's Angels" was so popular that 59% of the television audience tuned in, according to Time magazine, and the Los Angeles Times' review of the series premiere pointed out why: The show dripped with sexuality and "good-natured but quite intentional teasing."

Along with "Three's Company" -- a double-entendre-filled ABC sitcom that debuted six months after "Charlie's Angels" in fall 1976 -- the show is credited with helping to launch television's "jiggle" era. Still, the show was seen as empowering women, even if they did take their orders from an unseen male boss named Charlie.

"In an odd way, even with all that Lycra and bralessness, the show was a feminist statement," Thompson said. "This was an hourlong drama with women as action heroes. They were working in areas of power that generally we didn't see women in much."

Fawcett, who had appeared in shampoo ads, would triumph over critics who dismissed "Charlie's Angels" as little more than a commercial for hair products. But first she appeared in two lightweight feature films: "Somebody Killed Her Husband" (1978) and "Sunburn" (1979).

She surprised critics with her intense portrayal of the battered wife who immolates her husband in the TV movie "The Burning Bed." The 1984 Times review noted her "growing acting skill" and "deeply moving performance."

The phrase "Burning Bed" entered Hollywood's lexicon as shorthand for actresses who wanted to be taken seriously. "Managers would call and say, 'She'd like to do her 'Burning Bed,' " Greenwald, the film's director, said Thursday.

The off-Broadway play “Extremities” provided another dramatically taxing showcase in 1983. Following Susan Sarandon in the starring role, Fawcett broke her wrist during a fight scene and lost weight because the part was so physically demanding. She also earned respectable reviews.

When the film of "Extremities" followed in 1986, The Times' Charles Champlin called her performance "further declaration of her arrival as a serious and intelligent actress who happens to be beautiful."

Robert Duvall cast Fawcett as his wife in his 1997 independent film "The Apostle," about a Texas Pentecostal preacher who escapes to Louisiana after accidentally killing his wife's lover. Again, she won praise.

"That woman's work has been very underrated," Duvall told Texas Monthly, citing her Emmy-nominated performance in "Small Sacrifices," a 1989 TV movie in which her character kills her children. "That woman knows how to act."

With O'Neal, with whom she had a son, she starred in "Good Sports," a short-lived 1991 CBS sitcom that was her last network television series. She received her final Emmy nomination in 2003 for guest-starring on "The Guardian" on CBS.

Farrah Leni Fawcett was born Feb. 2, 1947, in Corpus Christi, Texas, to James Fawcett, who founded a pipeline construction company, and his wife, Pauline. Her older sister, Diane, died of lung cancer in 2001.

While studying painting and sculpture at the University of Texas at Austin, Fawcett was used to being judged by her looks. College men lined up to meet the freshman at her sorority in 1965, her college boyfriend told Texas Monthly. After she was voted one of the 10 most beautiful women on campus, a Hollywood publicist came calling.

Her parents wanted her to finish college before coming west, but they gave in after her junior year. Within two weeks of arriving, Fawcett had an agent and a significant other -- Majors, who had arranged an introduction after seeing her photograph, she often said.

She signed a contract with Screen Gems, Columbia's television subsidiary, and got bit parts on shows such as "The Flying Nun" and "The Partridge Family."

Majors married Fawcett in 1973 and became "The Six Million Dollar Man" on ABC a year later. She sometimes appeared on the series.

Her contract for "Charlie's Angels" stipulated that she had to be home every night by 6:30 to make Majors' dinner at their Bel-Air home, but the domesticity didn't last. While on location in 1979, Majors arranged for his dashing buddy O'Neal to look in on Fawcett. By fall, she had moved into O'Neal's Malibu beachfront home, Time magazine reported in 1997.

They had a tumultuous relationship that lasted for many years but they never married, although O'Neal said this week that the seriously ill Fawcett had said yes to his latest marriage proposal.

"As chaotic and crazy as their relationship is, I don't know who could put up with the two of them better than each other," her close friend Alana Stewart said in the Time article.

In 1985, Fawcett and O'Neal became the parents of a son, Redmond, whose teenage exploits were tabloid staples. From age 13, he had been in and out of drug treatment programs and has admitted abusing heroin, the London Daily Express reported in 2007. He has had several drug-related arrests in the last year.

Redmond, now 24, was allowed to temporarily leave jail April 25 to visit his mother at her home. He had been arrested earlier that month on charges of trying to smuggle drugs into a jail facility in Castaic and recently was admitted to a court-ordered rehabilitation program.

When Fawcett and O'Neal broke up in 1997 -- she attributed it to conflicts over parenting -- it was the beginning of a troubled time for her.

First, another actress accused her of stealing $72,000 worth of clothes. Then Fawcett appeared on Letterman's show to promote the video that showed her hurling her gold-painted naked body against a canvas. Chatting with the host, she looked disoriented and sounded incoherent. She repeatedly claimed it had been an act.

Orr, a sometime boyfriend, was convicted of slamming Fawcett's head to the ground and choking her during a fight. She admitted smashing windows at his Bel-Air mansion with a baseball bat. The couple got back together but broke up for good before he was sentenced to three years' probation, The Times reported in 1999.

For years, Fawcett lived in the Bel-Air home she bought with Majors in 1976; it was sold for $2.7 million in 1999. More recently, she called a Beverly Hills condo home.

Fawcett's relationship with O'Neal was on-again, off-again after their breakup. She helped nurse him back to health after he was diagnosed with chronic myelogenous leukemia in 2001, and he was there for her soon after she was diagnosed with anal cancer.

Two breast cancer survivors also rallied to her side: her "Charlie's Angels" costars, Smith and Jackson.

When tabloids quickly reported her cancer recurrence in 2007, Fawcett suspected that details of her medical care were being leaked. Her complaints led UCLA Medical Center to dismiss an employee who had surreptitiously reviewed Fawcett's medical records and those of more than 30 other high-profile patients. A new state law aimed at protecting patient privacy also grew out of the records violations

Forced to battle her cancer publicly, Fawcett made "Farrah's Story," a video diary that unsparingly chronicled her struggle to fight the disease and efforts to protect her privacy. It aired on NBC in mid-May.

Throughout the documentary, O'Neal is a steady presence, and he was with her when she died. In May, O'Neal told People magazine: "I won't know this world without her."

In addition to her son, Fawcett is survived by her father.

Instead of flowers, the family suggests donating to cancer research through the Farrah Fawcett Foundation, P.O. Box 6478, Beverly Hills, CA 90212.

RIP MJ

June 26, 2009

Michael Jackson, Pop Icon, Is Dead at 50

By BROOKS BARNES

LOS ANGELES — For his legions of fans, he was the Peter Pan of pop music: the little boy who refused to grow up. But on the verge of another attempted comeback, he is suddenly gone, this time for good.

Michael Jackson, whose quintessentially American tale of celebrity and excess took him from musical boy wonder to global pop superstar to sad figure haunted by lawsuits, papparazzi and failed plastic surgery, was pronounced dead on Thursday afternoon at U.C.L.A. Medical Center after arriving in a coma, a city official said. Mr. Jackson was 50, having spent nearly 40 of those years in the public eye he loved.

The singer was rushed to the hospital, a six-minute drive from the rented Bel-Air home in which he was living, shortly after noon by paramedics for the Los Angeles Fire Department. A hospital spokesman would not confirm reports of cardiac arrest. He was pronounced dead at 2:26 pm.

As with Elvis Presley or the Beatles, it is impossible to calculate the full effect Mr. Jackson had on the world of music. At the height of his career, he was indisputably the biggest star in the world; he has sold more than 750 million albums. Radio stations across the country reacted to his death with marathon sessions of his songs. MTV, which grew successful in part as a result of Mr. Jackson’s groundbreaking videos, reprised its early days as a music channel by showing his biggest hits.

From his days as the youngest brother in the Jackson 5 to his solo career in the 1980s and early 1990s, Mr. Jackson was responsible for a string of hits like “I Want You Back,” “I’ll Be There” “Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough” “Billie Jean” and “Black and White” that exploited his high voice, infectious energy and ear for irresistible hooks.

As a solo performer, Mr. Jackson ushered in the age of pop as a global product — not to mention an age of spectacle and pop culture celebrity. He became more character than singer: his sequined glove, his whitened face, his moonwalk dance move became embedded in the cultural firmament.

His entertainment career hit high-water marks with the release of “Thriller,” from 1982, which has been certified 28 times platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America, and with the “Victory” world tour that reunited him with his brothers in 1984.

But soon afterward, his career started a bizarre disintegration. His darkest moment undoubtedly came in 2003, when he was indicted on child molesting charges. A young cancer patient claimed the singer had befriended him and then groped him at his Neverland estate near Santa Barbara, Calif., but Mr. Jackson was acquitted on all charges.

Reaction to his death started trickling in from the entertainment community late Thursday.

“I am absolutely devastated at this tragic and unexpected news,” the music producer Quincy Jones said in a statement. “I’ve lost my little brother today, and part of my soul has gone with him.”

Berry Gordy, the Motown founder who helped develop the Jackson 5, told CNN that Mr. Jackson, as a boy, “always wanted to be the best, and he was willing to work as hard as it took to be that. And we could all see that he was a winner at that age.

Tommy Mottola, a former head of Sony Music, called Mr. Jackson “the cornerstone to the entire music business.”

“He bridged the gap between rhythm and blues and pop music and made it into a global culture,” said Mr. Mottola, who worked with Mr. Jackson until the singer cut his ties with Sony in 2001.

Impromptu vigils broke out around the world, from Portland, Ore., where fans organized a one-gloved bike ride (“glittery costumes strongly encouraged”) to Hong Kong, where fans gathered with candles and sang his songs.

In Los Angeles, hundreds of fans — some chanting Mr. Jackson’s name, some doing the “Thriller” dance — descended on the hospital and on the hillside house where he was staying.

Jeremy Vargas, 38, hoisted his wife, Erica Renaud, 38, on his shoulders and they danced and bopped to “Man in the Mirror” playing from an onlooker’s iPod connected to external speakers — the boom boxes of Mr. Jackson’s hey day long past their day.

“I am in shock and awe,” said Ms. Renaud, who was visiting from Red Hook, Brooklyn, with her family. “He was like a family member to me.”

Mr. Jackson was an object of fascination for the news media since the Jackson 5’s first hit, “I Want You Back,” in 1969. His public image wavered between that of the musical naif, who wanted only to recapture his youth by riding on roller-coasters and having sleepovers with his friends, to the calculated mogul who carefully constructed his persona around his often-baffling public behavior.

A Tour Canceled

Mr. Jackson had been scheduled to perform 50 concerts at the O2 arena in London beginning next month and continuing into 2010. The shows, which quickly sold out, were positioned as a comeback, with the potential to earn him up to $50 million, according to some reports.

But there had also been worry and speculation that Mr. Jackson was not physically ready for such an arduous run of concerts, and his postponement of the first of those shows to July 13 from July 8 fueled new rounds of gossip about his health. Nevertheless, he was rehearsing Wednesday night at the Staples Center in downtown Los Angeles. “The primary reason for the concerts wasn’t so much that he was wanting to generate money as much as it was that he wanted to perform for his kids,” said J. Randy Taraborrelli, whose biography, “Michael Jackson: The Magic and the Madness,” was first published by Citadel in 1991. “They had never seen him perform before.”

Mr. Jackson’s brothers, Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, Marlon and Randy, have all had performing careers, with varying success, since they stopped performing together. (Randy, the youngest, replaced Jermaine when the Jackson 5 left Motown.) His sisters, Rebbie, La Toya and Janet, are also singers, and Janet Jackson has been a major star in her own right for two decades. They all survive him, as do his parents, Joseph and Katherine Jackson, of Las Vegas, and three children: Michael Joseph Jackson Jr., Paris Michael Katherine Jackson, born to Mr. Jackson’s second wife, Deborah Jeanne Rowe, and Prince Michael Jackson II, the son of a surrogate mother. Mr. Jackson was also briefly married to Lisa Marie Presley, the daughter of Elvis Presley.

A spokesman for the Los Angeles Police Department said the department assigned its robbery and homicide division to investigate the death, but the spokesman said that was because of Mr. Jackson’s celebrity.

“Don’t read into anything,” the spokesman told reporters gathered outside the Bel-Air house. He said the coroner had taken possession of the body and would conduct an investigation.

At a news conference at the hospital, Jermaine Jackson spoke to reporters about his brother. “It is believed he suffered cardiac arrest at his home,” he said softly. A personal physician first tried to resuscitate Michael Jackson at his home before paramedics arrived. A team of doctors then tried to resuscitate him for more than an hour, his brother said.

“May our love be with you always,” Jermaine Jackson concluded, his gaze aloft.

Hometown Mourns

In Gary, Ind., hundreds of people descended upon the squat clapboard house were Mr. Jackson spent his earliest years. There were tears, loud wails, and quiet prayers as old neighbors joined hands with people who had driven in from Chicago and other nearby towns to pay their respects.

“Just continue to glorify the man, Lord,” said Ida Boyd-King, a local pastor who led the crowd in prayer. “Let’s give God praise for Michael.”

Shelletta Hinton, 40, drove to Gary from Chicago with her two young children. She said they had met Mr. Jackson in Gary a couple of years ago when he was in town to receive a key to the city. “We felt like we were close to Michael,” she said. “This is a sad day.”

As dusk set in, mourners lighted candles and placed them on the concrete doorstep. Some left teddy bears and personal notes. Doris Darrington, 77, said she remembered seeing the Jackson 5 so many times around Gary that she got sick of them. But she, too, was feeling hurt by the sudden news of Mr. Jackson’s death.

“He has always been a source of pride for Gary, even though he wasn’t around much,” she said. “The older person, that’s not the Michael we knew. We knew the little bitty boy with the big Afro and the brown skin. That’s how I’ll always remember Michael.”

Michael Joseph Jackson was born in Gary on Aug. 29, 1958. The second youngest of six brothers, he began performing professionally with four of them at the age of 5 in a group that their father, Joe, a steelworker, had organized the previous year. In 1968, the group, originally called the Jackson Brothers, was signed by Motown Records.

The Jackson 5 was an instant phenomenon. The group’s first four singles — “I Want You Back,” “ABC,” “The Love You Save” and “I’ll Be There” — all reached No. 1 on the pop charts in 1970, a feat no group had accomplished before. And young Michael was the center of attention: he handled virtually all the lead vocals, danced with energy and finesse, and displayed a degree of showmanship rare in a performer of any age.

In 1971, Mr. Jackson began recording under his own name, while continuing to perform with his brothers. His recording of “Ben,” the title song from a movie about a boy and his homicidal pet rat, was a No. 1 hit in 1972.

The brothers (minus Michael’s older brother Jermaine, who was married to the daughter of Berry Gordy, Motown’s founder and chief executive) left Motown in 1975 and, rechristened the Jacksons, signed to Epic, a unit of CBS Records. Three years later, Michael made his movie debut as the Scarecrow in the screen version of the hit Broadway musical “The Wiz.” But movie stardom proved not to be his destiny.

A Star Goes Solo

Music stardom on an unprecedented level, however, was. Mr. Jackson’s first solo album for Epic, “Off the Wall,” released in 1979, yielded four No. 1 singles and sold seven million copies, but it was a mere prologue to what came next. His follow-up, “Thriller,” released in 1982, became the best-selling album of all time and helped usher in the music video age. The video for title track, directed by John Landis, was an elaborate horror-movie pastiche that was more of a mini-movie than a promotional clip.

Seven of the nine tracks on “Thriller” were released as singles and reached the Top 10. The album spent two years on the Billboard album chart and sold an estimated 100 million copies worldwide.It also won eight Grammy Awards.

The choreographer and director Vincent Paterson, who directed Mr. Jackson in several videos recalled watching him rehearse a dance sequence for four hours in front of a mirror until it felt like second nature.

“That’s how he developed the moonwalk, working on it for days if not weeks until it was organic,” he said. “He took an idea that he had seen some street kids doing and perfected it.”

Mr. Jackson’s next album, “Bad,” released in 1987, sold eight million copies and produced five No. 1 singles and another state-of-the-art video, this one directed by Martin Scorsese. It was a huge hit by almost anyone else’s standards, but an inevitable letdown after “Thriller.”

It was at this point that Mr. Jackson’s bizarre private life began to overshadow his music. He would go on to release several more albums and, from time to time, to stage elaborate concert tours. And he would never be too far from the public eye. But it would never again be his music that kept him there.

Even with the millions Mr. Jackson earned, his eccentric lifestyle took a severe financial toll. In 1988 Mr. Jackson paid about $17 million for a 2,600-acre ranch in Los Olivos, Calif., 125 miles northwest of Los Angeles. Calling it Neverland after the mythical island of Peter Pan, he outfitted the property with amusement-park rides, a zoo and a 50-seat theater, at a cost of $35 million, according to reports, and the ranch became his sanctum.

But Neverland, and Mr. Jackson’s lifestyle, were expensive to maintain. A forensic accountant who testified at Mr. Jackson’s molesting trial in 2005 said that Mr. Jackson’s annual budget in 1999 included $7.5 million for personal expenses and $5 million to maintain Neverland. By at least the late 1990s, he began to take out huge loans to support himself and pay debts. In 1998. he took out a loan for $140 million from Bank of America, which two years later was increased to $200 million. Further loans of hundreds of millions followed.

The collateral for the loans was Mr. Jackson’s 50 percent share in Sony/ATV Music Publishing, a portfolio of thousands of songs, including rights to 259 songs by John Lennon and Paul McCartney, considered some of the most valuable properties in music.

In 1985, Mr. Jackson paid $47.5 million for ATV, which included the Beatles songs — a move that estranged him from Mr. McCartney, who had advised him to invest in music rights — and 10 years later, Mr. Jackson sold 50 percent of his interest to Sony for $90 million, creating a joint venture, Sony/ATV. Estimates of the catalog’s value exceed $1 billion.

Last year, Neverland narrowly escaped foreclosure after Mr. Jackson defaulted on $24.5 million he owed on the property. A Los Angeles real estate investment company, Colony Capital LLC, bought the note, and put the title for the property into a joint venture with Mr. Jackson.

In many ways, Mr. Jackson never recovered from the child molesting trial, a lurid affair that attracted media from around the world to watch as Mr. Jackson, wearing a different costume each day, appeared in a small courtroom in Santa Maria, Calif., to listen as a parade of witnesses spun a sometimes-incredible tale.

The case ultimately turned on the credibility of Mr. Jackson’s accuser, a 15-year-old cancer survivor who said the defendant had gotten him drunk and molested him several times. The boy’s younger brother testified that he had seen Mr. Jackson fondling his brother on two other occasions.

After 14 weeks of such testimony and seven days of deliberations, the jury returned not-guilty verdicts on all 14 counts against Mr. Jackson: four charges of child molesting, one charge of attempted child molesting, one conspiracy charge and eight possible counts of providing alcohol to minors. Conviction could have brought Mr. Jackson 20 years in prison. Instead, he walked away a free man to try to reclaim a career that at the time had already been in decline for years.

After his trial, Mr. Jackson largely left the United States for Bahrain, the island nation in the Persian Gulf, where he was the guest of Sheik Abdullah, a son of the ruler of the country, King Hamad bin Isa al-Khalifa. Mr. Jackson would never return to live at his ranch. Instead he remained in Bahrain, Dubai and Ireland for the next several years, managing his increasingly unstable finances. He remained an avid shopper, however, and was spotted at shopping malls in the black robes and veils traditionally worn by Bahraini women.

Despite the public relations blow of his trial, Mr. Jackson and his ever-changing retinue of managers, lawyers and advisers never stopped plotting his return.

By early 2009, Mr. Jackson was living in a $100,000-a-month mansion in Bel-Air, to be closer to “where all the action is” in the entertainment business, his manager at the time, Tohme Tohme, told The Los Angeles Times. He was also preparing for his upcoming London shows.

”He was just so excited about having an opportunity to come back,” said Mr. Paterson.

Despite his troubles, the press and the public never abandoned him. A crowd of paparazzi and onlookers lined the street outside Mr. Jackson’s home as the ambulance took him to the hospital.

Reporting was contributed by John Broder from Washington; Randal C. Archibold from Los Angeles; Susan Saulny from Gary, Ind.; and Melena Ryzik, Ben Sisario, Brian Stelter and Peter Keepnews from New Yor